And when I say "thoughtful," I literally mean "full of thoughts."
But first I want to say what a wonderful day it has been.
I began with the daily devotional of Jesus Calling that read:
"I meet you in the stillness of your soul."
In a busy world that hustles and bustles our minds and bodies to achieve and commit and strive and compete, God looks out across the world to and fro to find someone who is searching also for Him. When He sees me trying to find Him, our mutually search brings joyful fulfillment. Lately, I've been longing for a place to be alone with God, just the two of us, and today's devotional acknowledged His taking notice of that desire. In the college I am in, full of other believers and some non-believers in an awareness of God's presence 24-7 who are also trying to just be alone- IN southern California no less- it can be difficult to find solitude, and peace of mind even more difficult. But today's devotional also emphasized God's monitoring of my efforts and how blessed He is of each of His daughter's attempts to seek Him.
The verses were:
Zechariah 2:13 Be still before the Lord, all mankind, because He has roused from his holy dwelling.
I Chronicles 16:9 For the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to Him.
Psalm 23:2-3 He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside the still waters. he restores my soul. He guides me paths of righteousness for His name's sake.
Lately , I've been worrying myself almost sick with where my next step in life will be. The BFA Theatre degree is not working out for me, but I do not know where else to go. I've been thinking of the different options: a journalist/writer, editor, campus pastor, worship leader, physical therapist, missionary, music teacher, philosophy teacher. I mean C'MON! There are too many options that I cannot seem to choose. What I need to figure out is what I want out of life, what do I like, and what can I see myself doing as a day to day profession. Something more technical gives me more security, and more freedom to do theatre and performing as a comfortable hobby, like it was in school.
But in the present world as opposed to the mental world of Katherine Rose, today was an unofficial Take Your Daughter To Work Day for Dad and I. I met him at the hospital from 9:30am-1:30pm, where we spent our time going to various patient procedures and observing his reading x-rays with the vocal speed of an auctioneer. I learned how to read an MRI in the most basic of fashions, too! We met Mom for lunch after she got her hair done at Tacos Locos at 12pm, then back to work for a shoulder injection procedure. Man, my Dad has such a cool job and works with some amazing x-ray techs, student workers, and compassionate/funny doctors. I had such a great time, which got me on the track of physical therapy as potential career option.
Mom and I ran some errands, then came home and took naps. Then I chatted with some friends on Facebook while waking back up, called Rachel about our Theatre History project, made homemade mango salsa, then audiobooked the play I am supposed to read for the project.
After a scrumptious dinner with the family, working out while finishing the final half and commentary of the play made the time fly by pretty easily. It is quite freeing to rid yourself of following a DVD for your workout, and just listening to what areas of your body need working out.
Now I am here, documenting the beauty of today. Today, my soul has been stilled throughout the day and throwing my attention on the welfare of other people truly makes you a better person without your realizing it. I came out of the hospital refreshed and cleansed of all the self-deprecating introspection I have put myself through in an attempt to predict the future like predicting the weather. I may not have the Doppler Satellite within my core, but I do have interests, passions, and a work ethic to take me there. What I need now is peace of mind, the freedom to pursue, and the grace to have courage through both achievements and failures.
And I definitely want to go to High Sierra for a semester and get a Philosophy minor.
Well, today has been a wonderful day with the Lord. Thank you for showing me that there is so much more to life than introspection. Thank God!
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