Undulations

Undulation: (noun; un-dol-lay-shun)

From the Latin word undulatio.

A wave-like curve; a smooth and regular rise and fall.

I feel this word is an accurate depiction of how life is lived.

And plus, it is always extremely enjoyable when one word can describe so much.

Let us break down this definition, shall we?

What DOES this mean for you, and what does this mean for me?

1) A wave-like curve.

Everyone undergoes moments of accomplishment and success. We love being and feeling on top of the world. And unfortunately for our race, those highlights never last as long as we might like. When the high point of the undulation begins it's descent, we tend to believe our own shortcomings brought on this low point. It becomes very easy at this point for Satan's demons to penetrate our vulnerability and make us sad and guilt-ridden over what we did to deserve such a punishment. But hey! That's not how it is, man. Low points are part of the grand scheme of life! How can we truly appreciate the good times without acknowledging and walking through the valleys of shadow and sorrow? Keeping in prayer through both the good and the bad will add a level of consistency to the spiritual life that carries us through all walks of the life, crying with us through the low points, and rejoicing with us in the high points. This morning, I read an interesting quote out of my Bible Study journal that read,

"Those who do not pray when the sun shines will not know how to pray when the clouds roll in."

Essentially, God wants to walk with us in all times of life because He desires to fill us with a fulfilling life, a father wishes to spend time with his son and teach him how to play ball. He's got all these plans in accordance to each phase in our ever-undulating life. Isn't that exciting? Is that why we should always be joyful at heart, even amidst sorrow and sadness? Because our Father has a blessing coming that will rock our world, touch somebody's life and further God's kingdom here on earth? And in turn, will we not acknowledge how real His presence is in our lives and increase our belief that He truly can do all things? And will this not open us up to even greater miracles, even greater revelations which He can reveal to us because we believe our God is a living God working within us through both good times and bad, whether we "feel" him or not?

YESSSSSSS!!!!!!!

Dear God,

I am hurting and weak.

My strength has left me, and I am weary.

But even if I cannot feel your presence, I will obey you anyway.

I love you, Father. Use me in this time to bring heaven closer to earth.

Let not my will, but your will be done.

Amen.

SO! Our lives are crazy anyway. Why not let God steer us through the waters, riding the wave with His love and mercy leading the way? Let us say yes to rest.

2) A smooth and regular rise and fall

I know I fail to recognize undulations when I'm in the heart of a low point. Yet, I see them most clearly during high points, because getting there meant God delivered me from all past low-points and I see now that He was there the whole time. So I try to grow through these actualizations. But it's always easier to see the forest from the mountaintop, but never when you're among the trees.

So next up in our definition is understanding when a low-point is a low-point and when a high-point is a high-point, and then acting accordingly.

Are you sad?

Pray, and ask God to keep your heart joyful and sustaining, and use you in this temporal stage that others might be blessed.

Are you happy?

Pray, and thank God for his blessings in delivering you from the temptations of the evil one during your low undulation, and bask in the gloriousness of his many blessings with wonderful people, experiences, and memories! These are all a part of one life, not a choppy bunch of random happenings. God is making a beautiful tapestry that requires wave-like movements that weave us all together in the end. Low points that seem unexpected and undeserving are not results of our shortcomings, but of God wanting to deliver us and walk with us so we rely on Him, because His plans are way better than any of us can ever predict or comprehend until we take a leap of faith, and let the waves roll on with God guiding the way.

(::Skip Tra La La La::)

A Cool Breeze Tickles

As Sunshine Warms Skin And Soul.

Mystery Beckons.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Run Through The Meadow

Chase After A Butterfly

Your Childhood Beckons.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Worry Not, My Child

With Stress or Fear or Failure

For All Things Do Pass.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Perhaps It Is Time

To Climb A Tree And Get Lost

And Found In Kairos.

Simplify.

Currently, my mind is a portal of information, with the little tasks of today sticking around the inside of my head like build-up before a blood clot that sends its victim into a heart attack. Grotesque, I realize.

I am doing quite a number on myself by staying SO busy with so many small tasks throughout the day that I have no time for what's really important.

What is truly important? I think to myself.

Well, I suppose centering my life around following and praising God. That comes first.

Reading the Bible, praying for my dear brothers and sisters, and worshipping with joy through times of blessing and times of pain and sorrow.

Secondly, balancing my life between friends and school work.

Thirdly, playing soccer, basketball, dancing, running, and making time to exercise. God knows I need it to stay remotely sane. :P

Fourthly, activating! Getting outside my head and involved in things that interest ME (not anyone else... ME!)

And finally... resting. No, I really do not need to do homework right now. Katherine, you've never had a problem with school. Therefore, now is definitely NOT the time to worry. Go in peace and make time for God and you.

I learned an important lesson in Acting Fundamentals yesterday.

"People do not pay to watch people emote. People come to watch people DO and BE people." Act with your actions., and let the thinking come as it shall.

Let me tell you... that is not how I got into Anne Frank's head. I used my head first, tapped into her character, and then let my actions come as they may.

BUT THAT WAS THEN. AND THIS IS NOW.

So I'm gonna simplify, and let God do the walking, the talking, and the thinking (Eeek!)

Clarity and Peace with who I am and what I've got to offer.

Be grateful and thankful for what I have.

Rejoice for today!

"God's will is doing exactly what needs to be done, when it needs to be done."

Whew! I give my

head/heart/mind/spirit/body

to you.

Monument #1 A Shift in Priority

"Sometimes in our lives,

we feel a disconnect between what we want and feel

and what's actually happening"

Things are not going well-- well, not right now at least.

I think sometimes it is good to cry. I finally gave clarity to what has been troubling me for the past few months, and particularly the past few weeks. How did this clarity come about? The rawest form of honesty I can comprehend: tears bursting forth in an act of complete release of self and utter vulnerability to how I REALLY feel, contrary to the walls of control I've built around myself-- telling myself things are alright-- convincing myself that I am okay.

No... things are not alright.

No... I am not okay.

Not really.

God never asked us to deny our anguish, nor suppress our turmoil if ever we felt bad about our life and it's current circumstances. Rather, He is there to walk us through it, promising there's hope and light at the end of this valley of death, encompassing worries of this life in this world, of which I currently traverse.

Here's my dilemma.

1) I love Theatre.

2) I love Music.

3) I love Dancing.

4) I love using my mind.

5) I make patterns, connections, and use words as vehicles for expressing myself and my ideas.

6) I love sports.

7) I have so much drive and so much passion.

8) I need to find a niche where I can pour out my energy and slave away and lose myself in it's magic.

9) Preferably, including everything mentioned above.

10) Why? For God-- because I will further the glorious kingdom of heaven on earth, and make life more laughable and enjoyable for others through God who gives me strength. I have this vision where justice is just and honesty truly is the best policy and everybody can relax and have a fulfilling life because everyone knows they are equally as important in the skills and talents they have to offer and equally deserving of love and acceptance and that there is SO MUCH MORE than what we're settling for.

11) Who for? Others. God is changing my heart for servitude. To work for others means my life is important for them to survive.I am needed. And I will gladly serve you because it means my life is worth something. I just want to work for and serve other people; it would give me great joy and fulfillment.

Here's the rub.

I have no idea what I want to do.

I have no idea where I should go.

I am so lost because I know what I love

and I cannot see where it'll take me.

I have my dad's mind.

My mother's intuition.

And a sustaining energy for others

that comes only by faith.

But I have no clue what to work towards.

I have no tangible goals.

False.

I have plenty of tangible goals.

All of them are very hard to achieve short-term.

And then there's me.

Am I okay with who I am becoming?

Am I too adaptable, molding to others,

without thought of how my choices are molding me?

Am I good enough just the way I am right now?

I feel like I think too much to be in theatre.

Or that there's something that'll fit me better.

Am I open to that?

That would be a shift in priority.

I finally just broke down and wept.

There's no point hiding my feelings from myself.

Life is uncertain, and usually that brings me great joy.

Uncertainty means relying on improvisation :)

Thinking on your feet without preparation.

But I see the other side now.

Life is uncertain.

Uncertainty means preparing for as many things as possible,

so you don't have to worry later when life gets harder.

Here's the rub.

When do you ever prepare enough?

Is there ever a point of contentment?

No, there is never a point of contentment

when we set our own boundaries of productivity.

I just want to go somewhere with my life.

The subtle snares and busy trappings of this world

ensnare my independence through Christ.

Understanding dawns whenever I read a Psalmist proclaiming,

"My enemies did their best to kill me."

Yes, it all makes sense now, in a bittersweet sort of way.

So here is my monument. Life is uncertain and it reduces me to shuddering and shaking with glistening sheets of hopelessness and confusion because I'm finally coming clean that I don't have any idea what I am supposed to do.

With that... I am determined not to stay this way.

"What is the greatest commandment in the Bible," asked the Pharisees, hoping to trap Jesus.

Jesus replied,

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul and all your mind.

This is the first and greatest commandment.

A second is equally as important: 'Love you neighbor as yourself.'

I'll start there.

That's all I can do.