Fear vs. Love

I don't believe life is a series of chance events.

I believe that our choices have ripple effects.

Driven by God, steered by Love, choosing the choice of love is never wrong.

I am not sure what has happened to me. The more free time and space I seem to have, the less I know what to do with it. I lack organization and honest priorities. I need to find out who I am naturally, what I like to do, and pursue that. I have lived a life of jumping hoops. I am professional hoop jumper. I get great grades, do all the right steps to achieve what needs achieving, and then move on to the next hoop and forget what I just jumped. There is no linear harmony in my choices. They are means to no end. I guess some people would call this "spinning your wheels." 

Chronic wheel spinning is a very bad thing. 

Symptoms include:

-overstudying, 

-insomnia,

-depression,

-anxiety,

-blank-outs, 

-violent mood swings, 

-pessimism/cynicism, 

-fatalistic mentality, 

-existential crises, 

-idleness, 

-spotty attention span, 

-general forgetfulness, 

-long-term memory loss, 

-fatigue, 

-lack of hope. 

Hope in this case defines as seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. This disease is curable, but takes discipline and accountability. This ailment should NOT be tackled alone, but with professional council and close friends or family. A complete reversal of the mind is in order. One must look at the positive side of things rather than the negative all the time. Instead of seeing problems, see possibilities to breathe and be patient, looking not at the problem but at the path to get through it.  The best way to cast out a life lived "spinning your wheels" is to stop worrying and start loving. 

This is one reason why I believe in an all-powerful, all-loving God-- the things that last are the things that were created out of love. But living a life of fear strangles the spirit into a sense of duty by fear of punishment. Living a life of worship lets go of this fear, because there is a God who saved us by giving the entire human race the gift of grace. It is these chains of love-driven lifestyles that transcend time and keep everything that is good afloat. It would be a blatant lie to think that earth is just messed up and there is no one to redeem it. This is where Jesus comes in. YES, the world is screwed up. And YES, there is someone to redeem it. The same creator of the earth is the redeemer of its Fall, thanks to who? Thanks to us, the first persons being Adam and Eve. Adam and Eve ate the fruit from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil when God commanded them not to. They disobeyed their creator which created a divide between God and humanity. Hence, the world is a dark place, ruled by evil. Where is God in all this? 

He came as a human being, though fully-God, and ransomed the first sin made by Adam and Eve by dying on the cross. He became the eternal band-aid that stopped the outpouring judgements of sin by fulfilling every Jewish law that no other person had done. He became a pure and blameless person to voluntarily sacrifice himself for everyone who failed to live up to these laws of "holiness." He did all of this so that humans would never again be condemned by these Jewish laws which only brought condemnation upon the failings of humanity.
Jesus, the perfect Son of God, died. But then the Father God resurrected him after being dead three days. Now, set free by this act, everyone who can receive this Good News that humans are no longer separated by their loving Creator. All who believe they have been ransomed by the Son of God can be with him in a personal, adventurous relationship to help everyone else on earth believe that they are saved from condemnation. We are no longer tied down by sin. Grace gives us freedom to love, rather than duty out of fear of punishment. God will not punish those who believe in Him through his Son Jesus, the Savior of mankind from the power of sin and death. 

So, when I say that I struggle with this issue of love vs. duty out of fear, what I am struggling with is receiving the fullness of God's grace that he can use me to help others in the ways that I love best! Of course, if I loved crazy insane sex with multiple men, women, and animals, that is flat out wrong. That kind of passion is not love, but a distorted thing of something that once was good and made warped by the powers of evil. So when I say God will use what I love, the things I love are the things He's planted within me from the beginning. Even though love is a choice and that I won't always FEEL like I want to do what I was made to love, the choice to love it because I KNOW it to be true will grow within me a strong moral character and perseverance. These things are the muscles of hope, moving in a linear continuum towards experiencing and learning more about the heart of God for His people.

It starts with love.